Under a Rock

Bone scan is complete. Now the unpleasant wait for the results.

Yesterday I woke up pretty rested. I am still tired a lot, so I guess it over overrode my nervousness. I slept really well. I decided to work for two hours before the scan because I need to do something to keep me busy. That way I don’t fret too much about that stupid injection. I also took my “I don’t give a hoot” pill while I was at work, so my wife picked me up because I am not supposed to drive.

The radiologist wanted me there 30 minutes before the injection to get my check-in paperwork all sighed and information reviewed. That actually went real quick because I tend to be a frequent visit to this hospital system, so they have up-to-date records on me. Really helpful I must admit, but sad that I utilize their network so much.

The nurse came and got me after a little wait and it was time to get the injection. Thank goodness I was medicated because I was nervous enough. As usual, I tried to stall and the radiologist came in and did the injection. He told me that she was new and seeing that I have anxiety, he could get it done quickly the first time. I think the hard part is to just letting this happen and with the help of the “I don’t give a hoot” pill, I did just that. He found a good vein in my hand. So, I laid down on the examining table, gave the guy my hand and it was over pretty quickly. I did get my normal light headed from the sudden release of nervous energy, but recovered quickly from that too. Now for the three hour wait.

Since my wife and I were kind of hungry, we headed off to the cafeteria for something to eat. My wife works for the hospital so if she buys, we get an employee discount. I had a really nice custom made chicken wrap, it was good. After that, my lovely bride had some work stuff she could do while we were there. The three hours seemed to fly by.

Three hours were up and I was headed into radiology for my bone scan. When I first walked in it was like I was into sickbay on the Starship Enterprise. It was scifi looking contraption. The radiologist had me empty my pockets and take off my belt. He had me lay down on a slender platform and put boards under my arms to help me keep them at my sides. I was instructed not to move and the machine started. It was really slow going, so I closed my eyes and tried to think about pleasant things. About half way through I was so relaxed that I was catching myself falling asleep. The thing has a very soft vibration which was kind of soothing. Time seemed to pass by quickly and it was all done before I knew it, other than the injection, the test was no bid deal.

Ahhh…now the wait for the results. I asked the radiologist about when the results would be in my doctor’s hands. He told me that if my doctor does not get a hold of me by Friday to give the doctor’s office a call.

The wait, this is when I would like to just crawl under a big rock. Not sure what is going to happen next. I keep being reassured by family and friends that everything is going to work out. How do they know?! I know, they are trying to support me and make me feel better. Unfortunately, there is something going on with my body and the doctor is going to find it soon.

Frankly, I would rather not know.

It has taken me quite awhile to come to grips with being asthmatic. I am a proud asthmatic and am quite comfortable with who I am now. With that said, I am getting so tired of hearing people making humor of all that is happening to me because I hit the age of 40. I am not falling apart people! I don’t find it the least comforting or funny!!!

Even though the outcome might be favorable, I can’t seem to shake the need to worry about my future. Right now, I am scared.